Abigail "Misty" BriartonEdit

File:Quotation.png Misty's QuotesFile:QuotationReverse.png


"Marlton, sweetie, turn the lights on."
―Said upon starting.

"Being in the dark is fun and all, but I like being able to see what I'm killing."
―Said upon starting.

"Ugh, lights are out. That's why I knocked my shin into something."
―Said upon starting.

"I'll bet there's some way to get this place lit up..."
―Said upon starting.


"Never again, stumpchuckers, never!"
―After killing a Zombie that hit her.

"Try again, you turd sniffer!"
―Upon killing a zombie that hit her.

"Ugh! Hands off, Grabby Pants!"
―Upon getting hit by a zombie

"You can handle this girl, you've been through worse!"
―Said when surrounded by zombies

"Hands off the merchandise, pants-rubbers!"
―Upon killing a zombie that hit her, a possible reference to a similar quote by John F. Kennedy.

"Pop goes the...HEAD!"
―Upon performing a headshot.

"Oh, shit, it's almost like Misty isn't afraid of you! Oh, right, 'cause I ain't!"
―Upon killing a zombie that hit her.

"I should've brought a bag I could've packed Stuhlinger a lunch."
―said after killing a lot of zombies, possibly meaning she knows Samuel ate zombie flesh. (But if she knew, Samuel would most likely be dead)

Downed or RevivedEdit

"Huh I thought I was finished there for a second."
―After being revived.

"Must've been some stupid fuck watching my back."
―When downed.

"Whew, that was almost my last rodeo!"
―After being revived.

"Hey! Can someone swing by a Quick Revive?"
―When downed.

"What would you boys do without me?"
―After being revived.

"Don't expect any special favors... if you get my drift."
―Upon being revived.

"Whew, for a second there I thought you guys didn't like me."
―Said when getting revived.

"Feeling kind of exposed down here!"
―When downed


"Gonna have to look around for a new source of bullets!"
―When low on ammo.

"Can anyone spare some slugs for a lady?"
―When out of ammo.

"No bullets? No back-up? No problem!"
―When out of ammo.

"Stuhlinger! It's your lucky day, you get to watch me use a knife!"
―When out of ammo.

"Oh no, I'm out of bullets! If only a big smelly idiot would protect me!"
―When out of ammo.

"I was a six-time knife-fighting champ, I ain't afraid of nothing!"
―When out of ammo.

"Let me show you boys how unarmed combat is supposed to go down!"
―When out of ammo.


"One, two, I'm killing you!"
―Upon receiving Double Points power-up.



"Anyone hurt?... Yuck, what is that taste?"
―After drinking Quick Revive.

"*Burp* Heh... so unlady-like."
―After drinking Juggernog.

―After drinking Stamin-Up.

Mystery BoxEdit

"Rappidy dabbidy, let's kill some stuff!"
―When getting a good weapon from the Mystery Box

"You'll do, little man, you'll do... No, I don't mean you, Stuhlinger."
―Upon acquiring an SMG.

"Oohh, start talking, never stop!"
―Upon acquiring the HAMR.

"It's a lady's right to be fussy about her weapons!"
―Upon acquiring a sniper rifle.

"Why don't we bake them some cookies while we're at it?"
―Upon acquiring an SMR from the mystery box.

"At the risk of sounding sexist, this is a girl's gun!"
―Upon acquiring the Chicom CQB.

"This thing talks almost as much as I do!"
―Upon receiving the RPD.

"Mr. Boxy, why are you so expensive!?"
―Said when unable to afford a weapon from the Mystery Box.

"Oh, I even get rejected by the mysterious Mr. Box?"
―Upon the Mystery Box respawning.

"Typical man, takes what he wants then leaves."
―Upon the Mystery Box respawning.

"Teddy Bear? What kind of sexist crap is this?"
―Upon the Mystery Box respawning

"Ugh...looks like some kind of substitute penis...if you ask me."
― Upon receiving the Python.

"Look what my daddy left me, I must've been good this year!"
―Upon receiving the S12.

"Two in the hand, and one in the bush!"
―Upon receiving the Five Seven dual wield.

"A gun that shoots bombs. What's next, A knife that shoots spoons?"
―Upon receiving the RPG.


"Um, what's that word Marlton uses? Splendiferous? Yeah, this is splendiferous!"
―Upon receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

Finding Parts and CraftingEdit

"This looks like it might be good for something..."
―When picking up a crafting ingredient.

"I sure hope I'm doing this right..."
―While building.

"Gotta prioritize."
―When switching parts to build something.

"Ghouly Ghoulies, here I come!"
―After a successful craft.

"Huh. I bet that idiot Stuhlinger couldn't do this."
―Upon crafting.

"I won't hurt Marlton's feelings by telling him I built this. I'll just say I found it."
―Upon creating a device.

"Huh. Some kind of wind machine...I'll ask Marlton what it does."
―Upon crafting the Turbine.

"I don't need Marlton to do all this...but it's nice to make him feel necessary ."
―Upon crafting an item.


"I can't see three feet in front of my face!"
―Said when entering the fog.

"I can't see a Stuhlinger but I can still smell you!"
―Upon walking into fog.

"Whoa, I thought I was a goner for sure out there."
―Upon walking out of the fog.

"Next one who walks in there on purpose, I'm leaving 'em."
―Upon walking out of the fog.

"You guys go for a walk in the fog if you want, but I've had my fill."
―Upon walking out of the fog.


"Okay, That's one for you, 78 for me, but yeah, one for you!"
―Said when Samuel Stuhlinger gets a headshot

"You want some lunch, Stuhlinger? 'Cause I'm about to drop a lot of meat for ya!"
―Said to Samuel Stuhlinger when in combat.

"Hey Marlton, maybe we could build a tree fort together."
―Said when passing the forest between Diner and Farm

"Ah, the smell of a farm! Not quite the same since they came around."
―Said when reaching the Farm.

"All these burnt-out ratholes look the same to me after a while."

"Aw, I wish this diner had a jukebox! We could dance, Marly."
―Said when inside the Diner.

"This place is bringing back all kinds of good memories! Aw, there's even a clothesline like mom used to have."
―Said when at the Farm.

"Okay, alright, enough of the trip down memory lane. This is no longer a farm, it's a ruin."
―Said when at the Farm.

"There's nothing weird about an abandoned power station, right?"
―Said when at the Power Station.

"Ugh, this place just gets creepier and creepier...just like you, Stuhlinger."
―Said when at the Power Station.

"Aaaand here we are again in thrillsville...woop-de-fuckin'-doo."
―Said when reaching the Bus Depot for the second time.

"Maybe I'll get off ahead. I need some...uh...gun oil. Yeah, gun oil."
―Said when on the bus.

"Ugh, Stinklinger, would you take a bath already? I can't escape your smell in this tunnel."
―Said when passing through the tunnel in between the Bus Depot and the Diner.

"Ugh, being in a tunnel with Stupinger...claustrophobia, plus the smell of vomit."
―Said when passing through the tunnel between the Bus Depot and the Diner.

"Aw, no, no more corn fields to wander around in!"
―Said when heading past the cornfields.

"It may be a burnt-out shell, but it's the only one we got."
―Said randomly about the bus.

"Dirty, smelly, and wet. *Gasp* Are we inside of Crapinger?"
―Said randomly on the bus.

"Hey, Stu, look, a brand-new town we've never been to!"
―Said when reaching the Town for the second time.

"Stay in front of me, Gropeinger! I don't want you behind me in the dark."
―Said randomly when on the bus.

"Can't say I'm sorry to leave..."
―Said when leaving the Town.

"Bridges are made for driving over, not falling through!"
―Said when the bus drives over the broken bridge.

"I'll get the one on the right, you get the one on the left and let the middle one eat Stuhlinger."
―Said when some zombies latch onto the Bus.

"Huh, figured the pus-nuts would've swarmed this bus by now!"
―Said when no zombies are attacking the bus

"Huh, the bus is clear for once."
―Said when no zombies are attacking the bus

"Stuhlinger, is that smell you?"
―Said when entering the fog

"Stupinger! Go around the bus and check if there are any zombies hiding back there."
―Said when bus is clear

"This lightning's making my piercings tingle. All of them!"
―Said when the Avogadro is creating a lightning storm

"Arh, I HATE the smell of lightning!"
―Said when the Avogadro is creating a lightning storm

"There's better things to do than get zapped by lightning!"
―Said when the Avogadro is creating a lightning storm

"What did I do?"
―Said when a Denizen digs a portal after walking under a green light while it was latched on to her

"Nothing good comes out of weather like THAT!"
―Said when the Avogadro is creating a lightning storm


"I thought you were supposed to be some kind of real man!"
―Said when Stuhlinger is swarmed

Samuel StuhlingerEdit

File:Quotation.png Samuel's QuotesFile:QuotationReverse.png


"Gonna have to flip on the lights somehow."
―At the beginning.

"Let's get these lights on, people!"
―At the beginning.
"It's dark, I don't like the dark!...weird shit happens in the dark..."
―At the beginning


"Okay, now you're just making me hungry!"
―After killing a Zombie which hit him

"That didn't surprise me, oh no. I know ALL about those things, I read about how 'they' plant them everywhere."
―After surviving an attack from a Denizen or Zombie.

"Can somebody help me?! If you do, I promise to tell you what's REALLY going on!"
―While surrounded by Zombies.

"I disarmed the enemy! Get it? Disarmed?"
―After killing a bunch of zombies with a grenade. Possible reference to Richtofen.

"Question: What makes the grass grow? Answer: Zombie blood!"
―After killing a bunch of zombies with a grenade.

Downed or RevivedEdit

"I wish that bimbo wasn't around to see me go out like this..."
―Upon being downed.

"HELP! One of 'ems got me!"
―Upon being downed.

"I saw...a tunnel of light, an..and my mother was there."
―After being revived

"You just only saved my ass because without me you're dead meat and you know it. Mmm, meat..."
―After being revived.

"Samuel J. Stuhlinger pays his debts. Too bad i don't think i owe you a debt."
―After being revived

Mystery BoxEdit

"Hey Misty, I found your vibrator."
―Getting the S12 from the Mystery Box.

"I wouldn't spend money on that box even if I wasn't broke."
―Unable to afford the Box

"I came here to shoot meat and eat Sandwiches, and I am fresh out of sandwiches!"
―Getting the Ray Gun from the box. Reference to Duke Nukem

"I receive a gift from the magical voices."
―Getting the Ray Gun from the box.


"Huh, I'm gettin' a little too close to click, click, click."
―When running low on ammo.

"Looks like I have been too trigger happy."
―When running low on ammo.

"Why am I out of bullets? Hello? Who responsible for that?"
―When out of ammo.

"I need more ammo... and cheese. I need ammo and CHEESE!"
―Said when running low on ammo. Possibly a reference to The Elder Scrolls' Sheogorath, whose voice his resembles.

"Damned nation, I knew I was supposed to buy something, what was... BULLETS! I KNEW IT WAS BULLETS!!!"
―When out of ammo

"I heard they put something in the water to make you forget to count your bullets. It's the game..."
―Said when running low on ammo. Possibly a Half-Life 2 reference.

"Looks like I brought a spoon to a gunfight!"
―Said when running out of Ammo


"Is that some sort of trick of the light?"
―Upon turning on the power and witnessing the Avogadro's release.

"I'm a regular Thomas Fredison, or whatever his name is... was."
―When switching on the power

"Oh, you like the lights? THANK YOU!"
―When switching on the power


"Ugh, it's like a horse puked in my mouth!"
―Said after drinking Quick Revive.

"I didn't think Samuel J. Stuhlinger could get any louder! Tougher, tougher, whatever."
―Said after drinking Juggernog.


"Uh.. uh..  Where is everyone?! Don't leave me!"
―Said when entering the fog.

―After hearing a denizen's scream

Finding Parts and CraftingEdit

"*Quietly* Powered by conspiracy!"
―Upon placing the Turbine

"Wait a minute, you mean...I actually turned something on?"
―Upon placing the Turbine

"Never trust a machine."
―Upon placing a Turbine.

"If I wanted to build stuff, I would have gone to Build Stuff School!"
―Upon crafting an item.

"Remember the time I couldn't remember what it was I couldn't remember? REMEMBER? CONSPIRACY!"
―Said adding an item to a workbench

"Ohhhh, if this ain't right, I'll just hide it so no-one knows I messed up!"
―Said adding an item to a workbench

"Let's see, let's see, insert Tab A into Slot B then pound it with a hammer! Got it."
―Said adding an item to a workbench

"I just hope that slut isn't here to see me screw this up!"
―Upon crafting

Insufficient FundsEdit

"Me? I don't have any money, ohh, but the global banking conspiracy can buy themselves ALL the zombies they want, how fair is THAT?!"
―Said when attempting to purchase a door with insufficient funds


"Uh, what's that thing?"
―Upon seeing the Avogadro for the first time.

"Holy shnikies it's an alien!"
―Upon seeing the Avogadro for the first time. A reference to the movie Tommy Boy.


"I know what the aliens do in their spinning discs!"
―Said randomly.

"The aliens try to talk to me at night, but I'm trying to sleep!"
―Said randomly.

Marlton JohnsonEdit

File:Quotation.png Marlton's QuotesFile:QuotationReverse.png


"Finally, all my electrical engineering studies will yield results."
―Upon starting.

"Seems like an obvious challenge!"
―Upon starting.

"Preparing this location should be no trouble at all for Marlton! Dun dun dun, engineer of destiny!"
―Upon starting.


"Finally, something I can cradle in my arms without vomiting."
―Said when buying an Assault Rifle.


"Lay on, Macduff!"
―After killing a Zombie. A reference to a line in Template:W.

"That spells the end of you!"
―Upon killing a zombie.

"Ah, I did it!"
―After knifing a zombie.

"Turnabout, is fair play."
―Upon killing a zombie that hit him.

"Released from this mortal coil!"
―Upon killing a zombie.

" ashes!"
―Upon killing a zombie.

"Have I mentioned I despise personal interaction?"
―Said when killing a zombie after being hit.

"I am the very model of a modern major general!"
―Upon killing a zombie. A reference to the Template:W.

"Go ahead! Come at me! See if you end up regretting that decision, fiends!."
―When surrounded by zombies.

Downed or RevivedEdit

"The floor, so dirty!"
―After being downed.

"Urrrggaaah, this floor is disgusting!"
―After being downed.

"Thank you for reviving me. Now please, step back."
―After being revived.

"I will not beg Russman, but I will allow even you to render aid!"
―When downed

Mystery BoxEdit

"The M8A1 automatic rifle with a 5.56mm 32-round magazine could be...ugh, I could just say, 'It's fine.' I guess..."
―Upon receiving the M8A1.

"Now, I am become death, destroyer of worlds!"
―Quoting the Bhagavad Gita upon receiving the DSR 50.

"Oh, I would not trade this for all the tea in China. If there even is a China anymore..."
―Upon receiving the S12. Perhaps referencing Die Rise

"You see, to any underdeveloped mind, science is indistinguishable from magic."
―Upon receiving the Ray Gun.

"The Python .357 magnum revolver. No thank you, I have reproductive organs of my own."
―Upon acquiring the Python.

"This seems like a weapon for men with small penises, paging Russman."
―Upon acquiring the Python.

"KAP-40...will this thing allow me to 'Kap' the zombies when I get swarmed?"
―Upon receiving the KAP-40.

"The KAP, an automatic pistol with the recoil system of a rifle? The designer was indecisive and has created a sub-par weapon!"
―Upon receiving the KAP-40.

"The Executioner...a five-chambered portable shotgun-pistol. Really? I should execute you for giving me this unwieldy thing!"
―Upon receiving the Executioner.

"If nothing else is available, I suppose I shall endure it."
―Upon receiving a semi-automatic rifle, such as the FAL or SMR.

"If I wanted a semi-automatic rifle, I'd make one of my own!"
―Upon receiving the SMR.

"Fascinating... C4, insulated wire and a cheap toy and blammo! Crude, but effective."
―Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb.

"Ah, the Soviet RPD light machine gun with a 100-round 7.62mm drum magazine...I will not be changing clips very often."
―Upon receiving the RPD.

"The FAL, made in 1947 with amazing accuracy. It appears to be missing the "I" in the name. Making it more accurately spell "FAIL"."
―When geting the FAL.

"I believe it is GO TIME! Is that how one normally says such things?"
―When geting the HAMR.

"Is this... fun? Is this what fun feels like? Hahaha!"
―When killing zombies with the ray gun

"Spectrum! Mighty spectrum!"
―Upon receiving the EMP Grenade.


"My diagnostics skills seem greatly enhanced!"
―Upon drinking Quick Revive.


"I have no more carrying capacity for ammunition. Oh, that's a good thing!"
―Upon receiving a Max Ammo.

"I have accumulated maximum ammunition! "
―Upon receiving a Max Ammo.

"Nuclear fission!"
―Upon receiving a Nuke.

"Fusion,'re dead either way."
―Upon receiving a Nuke.

"Lick the atomic light!"
―Upon receiving a Nuke.

"I will now engage in a killing spree!"
―Upon receiving an Insta-Kill.

"HAH! I have been granted the power of death!"
―Upon receiving an Insta-Kill.

"I touch you and you touch the infinite. But I don't like touching."
―Upon receiving an Insta-Kill.

"DEATH TO YOU, Double Points to me. An equitable accommodation."
―Upon receiving Double Points

"Ashes, to Ashes."
―Upon receiving an Insta-Kill, possible reference to Takeo's quote from Ascension.


"Bullet conservation, Marlton, bullet conservation!"
―Said when running low on ammo.

"How could you have forgotten to count your ammunition Marlton!?"
―Said when running low on ammo.

"*Sigh* Why did I fire off all my rounds?"
―Said when running low on ammo.

"No ammo? That means I will have to engage these monstrosities with a blade...uhh..."
―Upon running out of ammo.

"Stand away, necrophages! I do not wish to engage in physical activity with walking disease-lockers!"
―Upon running out of ammo.

"Perhaps it is socialist Stuhlinger, but someone needs to share ammo with me."
―When running out of ammo.

"I must martial my ammuntion more efficiently."
―Said when running out of ammo.

Finding Parts and CraftingEdit

"Portable wind generator, courtesy of your resident genius!"
―Upon creating the Turbine.

"Here. Definitely here."
―Upon placing the Turbine.

"This seems an ideal placement."
―When placing the Turbine.

"Others may build similar devices, but mine are superior in all fashions thank you."
―After building something.

"I am conserving power in more ways than one."
―Upon placing the turbine


"And then Marlton said, 'Let there be light!' Aaaaaah! And, of course, with light comes heat and energy."
―Upon turning on the power.

"Education soars to the rescue once more!"
―Upon crafting and then turning on the power.

"Great Tesla coils!"
―Upon turning on the power.


"Russman, go into the storm and measure the gigawatts."
―Said after the storm begins.

"This signals the advent of something very unpleasant."
―Upon seeing the Avagadro.

"I feel safe in asserting that such monstrosities typically do not live inside power cords."
―Upon seeing the Avagadro.

"There is nothing natural about that weather system!"
―When the storm is occuring

"The lightning is so intense!"
―when the storm starts


"Visibility out here is near zero. What is the point?"
―Upon walking into the fog.

"If I wanted to die, I would have thrown myself off a bridge!"
―Upon walking into the fog.


"This is a place I don't want to remember."
―When entering Nacht der Untoten

"You're perfect...*coughs* y-your aim is perfect."
―Said randomly to Misty.



File:Quotation.png Russman's QuotesFile:QuotationReverse.png


"If only we had a nerdy science geek to turn on the lights... Hey, Marlton!"
―At the beginning.

"Power's out... Who would've guessed..."
―At the beginning.

"I wonder if any of this electrical shit still works."
―At the beginning.


"Russman likes to ride a bus that's relatively zombie-free."
―Said when bus is clear of zombies.


"You touchin' me? No you ain't touchin' me."
―After killing a Zombie that hit him

"Ain't no one allowed to touch Russman!"
―After killing a Zombie that hit him

"You no good freak-a-lope!"
―After killing a zombie that hit him

"I'm too old to die!"
―When being swarmed

"Jump down, turn around. Kill a horde of zombies."
―Said when killing a group of zombies with an explosive weapon

"Space Gun, does it in one."
―Said upon killing a zombie with one hit with the Ray Gun

"One shot, one beeeeeaaauuuuutiful explosion!"
―Said when Killing a zombie with one hit with the Ray Gun

Downed or RevivedEdit

"Aw hell, I don't wanna die on no mass transit!"
―When downed

"Help me! Some dummy's chewin' me up!"
―When downed

"Too slow by a half you damn freak-a-lopes!"
―When revived

"Almost went down for the count... Allll-most."
―When revived

"Back to life, get out my knife."
―When revived

"He who lives and runs away, lives to run another day"
―When revived


"Who's in charge of giving me bullets!? Oh, that's me. Uhh, nevermind."
―After running out of ammo.

"No bullets and I aint shit in a week? Ugh! Getting old sucks."
―After having no ammo

"The Wells.... run...DDRRYYYYYYYYY!"
―Said when low on ammo

"Russman's flat out!"
―After running out of ammo.

"Look out are fresh outta kill-tats."
―After running out of ammo.

"Stewy! you got some bullets for the old man? I'm plum out!"
―After running out of ammo.

"Russman doesn't like to run outta bullets!"
―After running out of ammo.

"Gettin' low on thunderplugs!"
―When running out of ammo.

Mystery BoxEdit

"Uh huh. Magic glowing box that gives out free stuff. I know the devils work when I see it"
―About the Mystery Box.

"Get ready to kiss the sky, necro-fuckers!"
―After getting the War Machine from the Mystery Box.

"You love it, I love it, I got it from the devil-box!"
―After receiving the War Machine from the Mystery Box.

"You tryin' to say I need a shotgun 'cause I'm old, devil-box?"
―After receiving the S12.

"Haha! This bad boy awake these old bones away!"
―After receiving the Ray Gun or the RPD.


"I bring light and joy to girls and boys!"
―After switching the power on

"Arh, damn that's bright!"
―After switching the power on


"What... the fuck... is that thing?"
―After witnessing the Avogadro being released

"What's that, weird lookin' gnomey thingy?"
―After witnessing the Avogadro being realeased


"Full up, wipe out!"
―Russman after getting the Max Ammo power up.

―Russman upon getting the Nuke Power-up

"Two for one on the freak-a-lopes."
―When getting Double Points


"What's that? I heard something!"
―After hearing a Denizen's scream.

Finding Parts and CraftingEdit

"Work, damn you!"
―After placing a turbine

"Do it, to it! "
―After placing a turbine

"Blow, Man, Blow"
―After placing a Turbine

"Fuck you, Darlington, I can build shit too!"
―Upon crafting an item.

"Maybe I should ask Darlington what this does? Like hell I will."
―When picking up a part

"Hmm, I smell a plan comin' together! HaHaaaaaaaa"
―Upon finding an item to craft.

"Yeah! Russman don't need no book-learning to build stuff!"
―Upon crafting an item.

"Great Day in the Mornin' This shit fits together!"
―Upon adding a part


"It's like I got a whole new hip!"
―When buying Stamin-Up.

"Tough as an ox!"
―When buying Juggernog.

Multiple CharactersEdit

Short conversations spoken by multiple characters at any given moment.

"See, this is where my plan just went south!"
"Take shelter, fair maiden! Ugh, what are you, Marlton, a paladin?"
―Marlton, in response.

Ludvig MaxisEdit

Finding PartsEdit

"That's it! Now, complete the device! Do it!"
―Upon finding the last piece of the Turbine.

Tower of Babble Easter EggEdit

"You! You are not one of those foul creatures! Excellent. I have been searching for decades, listen now. What I have to say is of the upmost importance to mankind. If you would see this plant free from these wretched undead creatures, and the monster's evil which controls them, you must obey my every command. I cannot defect physical change... Yet. You must be my hands. Only you can stop that awful worm, Richtofen."
―Said to Misty, Marlton and Russman when reaching the Power Plant

"Excellent! You have freed it! But now, you must turn off the power. An active power grid will disrupt all communications between us, and make it impossible to accomplish the mission I have for you. Shut down the power."
―After turning on the power.

"Yes! Outstanding! Now we can continue our other tasks!"
―After turning the power off after the Avogrado is released.

"Nein! The electromagnetic pulse has worn off! You must act with haste. The electrical grid is interfering with my signal."
―When you turn off the power and turn it on again.

"Not enough power. Bring additional energy systems."
―When the player(s) only places 1 Turbine at the Pylon.

"Yes, power! We need more of it. But only power which is portable and possibly even alive!"
―When the player(s) only places 2 Turbines at the Pylon.

"The creature is near. Lure him to the spire."
―After the electric zombie spawns near the Pylon.

"The creature is too far away. You need his energies or all your efforts are for naught."
―After the electric Zombie spawns far the Pylon.

"You have done well. Now activate the spires' power. Are you circumcized? Oh, hold on. That's it."
―If the step of placing the turbines at the green lights is accomplished before killing the Avogadro and the Pylon.

"Nein! Don't do that! We need the creature's energies! Killing it will only set back your purpose."
―When the player(s) begin shooting the Avogrado.

"Good. The Trichotomous system is now complete."
―When you finish the Easter Egg.

"You have constructed a control mechanism. But to program the computer, you will need to secure an application Navcard. You will have to seek it out then return here and activate the Spire. To save mankind."
―When you complete the NAV table.

"Excellent! You have activated the two obtuse vertices of the scalene. Quickly, complete the tertiary node!"
―When you place two Turbines in two different lamp posts.

"The Spire. The Spire is nearby."
―When you enter the cornfield.

"Kill the creature! Kill it now so we may capture its' essence."
―When you lure the Avogadro into the Pylon.

"You have done well. But yet we need more energy."
―When you don't kill the Avogadro in the center of the Pylon.

"Ah! Your power supplies are drained, now start again. Portable power devices are running out. You will have to re-do a step. Hurry! You have left power to drain below acceptable levels. Return to the previous locations."
―When you left the Turbines at the Pylon without doing nothing in a certain amount of time.

Bus DriverEdit


"Welcome aboard, please secure all personal belongings and take your seat. Now departing for the H.A.A.R.P. research station."
―When entering the bus.

"Welcome aboard Speedwing bus line!"
―When entering the Bus.

"Welcome aboard! Please have a seat. Thank you for choosing Consolidated Coach Corporation Bus Lines. We know it is a big decision who you ride with, and we are privileged to have been chosen."
―While getting on the bus.


"It is unsafe to distract a driver while the bus is operational."
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Authorities have been alerted to your destructive action."
―Attacking the Bus Driver.

"Please display courtesy to the automatic driver."
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Vandals will be ejected without a refund."
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Stay behind the yellow lines at all times or you'll be sorry, asshole!"
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Door privileges have been fucking revoked!"
―After the Bus Driver locks the doors due to attacks.

"Warning, warning. Software failure imminent."
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Keep fucking with me. See if I don't crash this bus and kill you all."
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Stay behind the yellow lines or face termination!"
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Hey asshole, I'm telling you to stop or I'm driving you off a cliff!"
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Fuck you, get your ass off my bus!"
―Attacking the Bus Driver

"Fuck you, now I am not stopping!"
―After the Bus Driver skips a stop due to attacks.

"This bus is out of order. A replacement driver has been notified and will be here in exactly one-hundred twenty-three years... We're all fucked."
―When disabled by a EMP.


"Please remember to pay in exact change"
―Said randomly.

"'Now crossing the Grand Canyon"
―Said randomly.

"Please remove all baggage from the seat next to you, to make room for upcoming passengers!"
―Said randomly.

"All passengers who engage in violence will be forcefully ejected!"
―Said randomly.

"Passengers must restrain small children when the bus is in motion."
―Said randomly.

"Pismo beach. there's nowhere quite like Pismo beach."
―Said randomly.

"Now arriving at Groom Lake. Last call for Groom lake."
―Said randomly (possible reference to zombies map after Die Rise).

"Bohemian Grove. Put on your hoods and disembark at Bohemian Grove."
―Said randomly.

"Yellow Stone Park. Step off the bus to see beautiful Yellow Stone Park."
―Said randomly.

"Attention passengers, the next stop is the island of Hawaii. You're all going to drown!"
―Said randomly.

"If you look out the windows on your right, you will see the beautiful Great Slate Lake."
―Said randomly.

"Attention passengers, please activate clean-suits and disembark for Mount Weather."
―Said randomly.

"Harvard Yard. Everyone off for Harvard Yard."
―Said randomly.

"Ladies and gentleman, we are now arriving at the Fast Flux Test Facility."
―Said randomly.

"Please gather all Top Secret files, and disembark for Deep Springs Gravitational Anomaly."
―Said randomly.

"Now approaching tunnel entrance for Dulce Base."
―Said randomly.

"Grand Central Station. End of the line, Grand Central Station."
―Said randomly.

"Greenbrier Resort. Every one off for Greenbrier Resort."
―Said randomly.

"Darkened Hole in a Cliff just ahead."
―Said randomly.

"Santa Monica Promenade. Ride the Ferris wheel, surf the pier."
―Said randomly.

"Tehachapi Ranch, just ahead. Please gather your biohazard suits if Tehachapi Ranch is your stop."
―Said randomly.


"Error Error - Global Positioning System Navigation error. Maintain current course. Implementing automatic course upgrade protocol."
―Said when arriving at Diner

"Error Error - False transponder non-operational. Defaulting to programmed route cycle. Now arriving Savannah River Tritium K reactor."

— Said after arriving at diner and when everyone is off the bus

"Error Error - Transport is under attack by city population. Engaging emergency ride software."

— While bus being attacked by zombies


The BridgeEdit

"NO! FUCK! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD GOODBYE! Oh. We made it. Consolidating Coach Corp would like to remind you to stay calm in any emergency situations."
―Said when crossing the bridge for the first time.

"HOLY CRAP! THE BRIDGE IS GOING DOWN! Wait, it stopped. Let's just test its structural integrity by continuing to drive this heavy bus over it, shall we?"
―Said when crossing the bridge for the first time.

"And if you look to your left, you will see a river of lava, which we appear to be falling into. Time to panic!"
―Said when crossing the bridge for the first time.


"What could go wrong in a darkened Diner with gasoline covering the ground?"
―When arriving at the Diner.

"What could go wrong in a darkened diner in the middle of nowhere?"
―when arriving at the Diner.

"Now approaching a run-down gas station and a diner filled with undead things which wanna kill you!"
―When arriving at the Diner.

Power StationEdit

"Abandoned power facility just ahead. What could go wrong?"
―When arriving at the Power Station.

"Abandoned power facility up ahead. Disembark and light up the whole neighborhood why don't 'cha?"
―When arriving at the Power Station..

"I'd warn you about this place, but I doubt you'd listen."
―When arriving at the Power Station.

Bus DepotEdit

"Next station: decrepit bus station filled with undead."
―When arriving at Bus Depot.

"Thank you for riding with us, may I suggest you run."
―After exiting the bus.


"You could disembark for a nice walk in the forest here. I'm sure there's nothing that wants to kill you out there"
―When passing by the forest.

Edward RichtofenEdit


"*Coughing* Excuse me, just getting used to the aether. Wreaks havok on the pipes. Ah, right."
―When getting a power-up for the first time in a TranZit match.

"Max Ammo!"
―When getting a max ammo power up.

―When getting an insta-kill power up.

"Double points!"
―When getting double points power up

―When getting a carpenter power up.

―When getting a nuke power-up.


"Nyahahahahaha, bye bye!"
―When a player gets a teddy bear from the Mystery Box.

"Fetch me their souls..."
―On a Hellhound Round if the host as enabled Hellhounds in a private match.

Tower of BabbleEdit

"Ah, good job, wunderbar! You've done well, my friend. But this is not a sprint. This is und marathon. Of your group, you are the only one who seems to be able to hear me, so you must convince your deaf friends to heat up the obelisk! Setting a puny fire is not enough. It must reach an extreme temperature. If only you knew how to build a portable engine of some sort. One that might grow very hot, like a jet engine with an afterburner, Oh you do? Oh, goody goody! So, why are still standing here listening to voices in your head? Get to it, schweinhund, or Dr. Maxis will kill you all!"
―Said to Stuhlinger when the power is turned on.

"You found the last piece! Now you have everything you need to make the jet engine. Quickly!"
―When the last part of the Jet Gun is picked up.

"Your skills are superb. Now get this thing to the obelisk! We must hurry, for Maxis is a busy little beaver, and the dam he builds will (high pitched) kill you all! Trust me!"
―When Stuhlinger builds the Jet Gun.

"Now we need the 115, and the only place to get that is from the flesh. THE FLEISCH! You must (unclear) the 115 from the undead by killing them. Oh, boy, do you need a bunch of it. Get busy!"
―When the player brings the Jet Gun to the cornmaze.

"You must reduce the incoming power by a factor of four!"
―When killing the zombies in the cornmaze for the Tower of Babble easter egg.

"(German) Jawohl (Yes, sir)! Reduce the electricity now, 'till you're the only ones."
―When 4 teleporters show up.

"Almost. All four must do it simultaneously. Together, idiot, TOGETHER! Must I do everything? Look how much I do for you already. It's the least you could do to save your pathetic planet, and spare some people, no ability to work as a team."
―When the players fail to throw an EMP grenade into the teleporters at the same time.

"Ja, das ist gut (Yes, this is good)! You have accomplished much, but to activate the computer, you must have the little Navcard thingy, which plugs into the computer thingy. Don't worry your little head about what it does or how it works, just go find it!"
―When Stuhlinger when he builds the NAV table.

Bus Stop RadioEdit


"The red zone is for loading and unloading only, there is no parking in the red zone and that bitch is not here to tell you otherwise!"
―A reference to the movie Airplane where there are two radiomen and women who argue over the white zone and the red zone on parking.

"There is no sleeping on the benches!"
―Said randomly when a player is around the Bus Stop.

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